With the advent of the child, the whole habitual way of life changes. In this difficult period, it is so easy to forget why you even decided to start a family! Very often, the couple begins to quarrel over trifles, stop paying attention to each other and lose the main thing that connected them – love.
But if you try, you can adapt to change and make the relationship even stronger and deeper than before.
You used to be just a couple, but now you have become parents. This is a joyous change, but it is also associated with many problems and unexpected surprises. Caring for a newborn can adversely affect your health and peace of mind, disrupt sleep and wakefulness, lower energy levels and, most importantly, worsen relationships with your spouse.
For most new parents, this means a complete lack of time to be alone. Sometimes it comes to the fact that they don’t even have the opportunity to calmly look into each other’s eyes and hug. Everything is done in a hurry or forgotten. Couples who have recently had a baby very often ask themselves how to maintain a strong relationship when all their efforts are spent on satisfying the needs of the baby.
There are several good ways to express your love and take care of each other. Use them more often! This will ease the hardships of parenting and help preserve harmony in the family.
How was your day? What’s interesting?
For four years now, I have been asking my husband every day: “How was your day? What’s interesting?” With no exceptions. This may seem too monotonous, but, fortunately, we were never bored. Apart from some really dull days when there was nothing exciting to talk about.
Moms like to listen when their children discuss the events of the day and their school life. Thanks to this, the child feels that he is being taken care of. The same applies to newly minted parents. When you spend time with your partner, exchange news about work, share your feelings and concerns, or retell interesting conversations with friends, your connection becomes stronger.
Try to calmly talk at least 10 minutes every evening. It really helped my marriage.
Separate parental responsibilities
Men tend to prefer to stay away. They think that a woman since she is on maternity leave has enough time to do all the housework and take care of the baby. At the same time, they completely forget that every mom needs a break.
Ask your husband to help you. He is quite able to sit with the baby, change the diaper and feed from the bottle while you are cleaning or drinking tea. In this way, he will not only unload you but also strengthen his connection with the child.
Settle Disputes Before You Go To Bed
It’s okay if you disagree; two people – two different points of view. It is in the interest of both parents to speak out, put everything on the shelves and sort out a contentious issue before they lie down in bed and kiss each other for the night.
According to doctors, a calm mind is a key to a night of good restoring sleep. Do not keep resentment in yourself, share experiences with your partner and let him answer. This will ease the tension.
Do not worry about trifles
If you put off washing dirty dishes for later – this is normal! If you met with friends whom you had not seen for four months and left a child with one of the relatives – this is normal! If you missed the feeding time – this is normal! If the husband forgot to pick up clothes from a dry cleaning service – that’s fine! If your mother-in-law released an inappropriate comment – this is normal! Yes, all this is normal! Life is short. Take it easy.
Family is not a difficult test. Of course, it requires some effort, but at the same time gives so many joyful, wonderful moments! So do not strain because of the little things. Do not meditate on every little thing. You are a great mother, wife, daughter, and possibly daughter-in-law. Stop blaming yourself for everything. If you let the little things bother you constantly, they will swallow your life.
All relationships are built on communication and honesty. You have nothing to hide from each other. It is very important that your intentions, desires and emotions are transparent. Talk about everything that matters to you.
Be honest, then your love will blossom and you will never lose the freshness of feelings. If something terribly bothers you, open your heart. Do not keep in yourself, otherwise, an explosion will follow.
Find time for each other
It doesn’t matter how busy you are. Use every opportunity to be with each other and enjoy life, because you have one! The baby will take away almost all of your time and energy, this can not be avoided. But you do not need to give up the general leisure to which you are accustomed.
Before fate gave you a child, you have experienced many wonderful moments together. Think of them. Allow yourself to go to the movies every two weeks or have lunch together. Just refrain from clarifying the relationship. This time is not for war, but for love.
Surprise! This is one of the most important tips! Perform spontaneous and unexpected actions, for example:
1) Look at your spouse in the office, if he is nearby.
2) Make a cake or dessert that you haven’t done for 2 years — something your husband always loved and ate for both cheeks.
3) Update your wardrobe. Buy an eye-catching dress and put it on for the next party where you go together. Try to look younger. Feel younger. Soon your husband will begin to shower you with compliments. You may even blush and find that your feelings are as fresh as 9 years ago.
4) Start exercising, aerobics or doing morning jogging.
5) How about having a candlelight dinner when the baby falls asleep? Not such a bad idea.
And how do you add a twinkle to relationships? How do you care? When did you surprise each other for the last time? If you have not done this for a long time, now is the time